


As The Rain Flows.

by thel0calsapph



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Cedric Diggory, Bisexual Harry Potter, Blood and Gore, Fluff and Angst, Knives, Minor Character Death, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Pansexual Luna Lovegood, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thel0calsapph/pseuds/thel0calsapph
Summary: as this is an explicit ao3 fanfic, here's a specific *trigger warning:*blood, gore, knives, suicide attempt, death.this is also written in 2nd person.
Relationships: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood/Reader
Kudos: 4





	1. rainfall's and blood's rise.

**Author's Note:**

> as this is an explicit ao3 fanfic, here's a specific *trigger warning:*  
> blood, gore, knives, suicide attempt, death.  
> this is also written in 2nd person.

As you look up, you can see the light rain tumble down from the sky, you sat down at the stoned, freezing, and isolated bench. The rain was falling, and you found it pleasant. It tickled from your cardigan to your hair. You pulled out a leathered black journal, a bit of ink, and a quill. You dipped the tip of the quill into the jet black ink. The jet-black ink swirls in the small jar. You pulled out the quill and wrote on one side of the journal. Your hair is blowing through your face close to your eyes. You quickly move it aside and continue writing. You can hear a radio close by, hearing something muffled. As you start to drift away from reality, your self-conscience reminds you the pain is temporary. You quickly drift back and pull out a cigarette box and a matte-black lighter. You quietly pull out a cigarette from the box and put it on the tip of your mouth. While taking out the lighter, you let it burn and let out a puff of smoke. You picked back up the quill and continued writing. You wrote today's date and the desired wish you've craved for it to come true. You wrote another 2 times and diagonally 3 times. You continue to write until it's unreadable. You take out a thread of worn yarn and shredded the piece of parchment off the journal. You fold the parchment until it was a small square and twisted the yarn into a knot. While pulling it, you got the lighter and flipped it on. You put it really close to the parchment and saw it burn into a crisp. The flame was enjoyable and satisfying in a disturbing way. As the flame died, you crushed the parchment into ash and it disapparated into the sky. You flicked off the lights and put it in the pocket of your knitted cardigan that Luna gave you for your birthday. You saw the ocean's breeze dancing with the wind. You imagined how the ocean would be as a god or goddess.

The cypress trees enjoy the light rain with the wind. The fountain in front of you had a statue. It came alive and starts twirling with the fog above. It was difficult to describe how they looked like. You walked to the fountain with the figure holding a torch and their face broken in tears. You sat at the edge of the fountain. You laid your hand on the cold water. There were some lilies of the valley in the outside and inside of the fountain, floating. You picked one of them up and put it inside of your shoes. You recalled a quote you remembered. You ran to the inside of your cottage and ran to your room, and checked your board. " _darling, I saw you standing there and all the hands fell away. darling, you laugh, and my heart beats than I can say. now, we're listening to records in our own meant-to-be. darling, forever you will be the most important thing to me._ " You wrote it down in your notebook with unreadable ink. You don't want to let go of Luna, your girlfriend, your lover, the person that helped you during your weakest and darkest times. A memory started grabbing onto you and took you to that time.

You were in the common room, It's 1996. You're having a panic attack and you couldn't take this pain anymore. You felt useless and got a knife from the drawer. You ran out of the Ravenclaw Common Room to the Forbidden Forest while Luna was chasing after you. You got near the entrance and found a dark area where nobody looks. "Y/N! What are you doing?!" Luna screamed. You were going insane and didn't respond. You examined yourself to see where to stab yourself. You stabbed yourself in the chest and yelled. You cried in agony and saw your blood dropping down your sage green sweater and grey sweatpants. You wanted to stab yourself a few more times to end the suffering. You've had enough after you've heard that your father, Ted Tonks, was forced to go on the run. Your mother Andromeda Tonks took a break from her job as a healer and stayed at home. You cried hysterically and blood was shedding on your face. You looked at the small mirror you had and looked paler than before. You are seconds away from death greeting you. You close your eyes and laid in the forest with Thestrals around you.

As you woke up in the hospital wing with bandages around your chest, you see Luna, Harry, and Cedric next to you. "Y/N! We've been worried after your suicide attempt! Are you alright?" Cedric spoke. He was in disbelief after your failed suicide attempt. Cedric hugged Harry and Luna and looked at you. "W-What.. what happened? H-how did my suicide attempt not work-" You mumbled. You felt the gap where you stabbed yourself at. The knife's marks are still on your stomach. "We'll be contacting Mrs. Tonks about this suicide attempt." Madam Pomfrey explained. You shredded a tear after her speaking. "I'll go and leave you four to talk." As Madam Pomfrey walked away, you looked at the 3 of them, and they looked back at you. "Most likely, you'd want to know why attempted to commit suicide." You said. You took a deep breath and spoke. "My father, Ted Tonks, was forced to go on the run. Snatchers will try to catch him and as well as the Ministry." You broke down and put your hands over your face. "He means a lot to me. I can't lose him, neither Tonks nor my mother." You spoke. I must go home. I can't lose him." As you finished, you started to shed a tear. As your present self looked at your past self, your spirit guide puts their hand on your shoulder. "This was your past self, Y/N. You tried to commit suicide after the horrible news. You threw your entire life away, _look at me._ " As they finished speaking, you looked at them. They were the exact person you saw at the fountain earlier outside of your home. "I know you were suffering, _horribly_. I've experienced it too. I threw my entire life away and **_didn't turn back_**. I did not regret it then, but I still don't regret it. I threw myself off the cliff and my dead body was found in the ocean a few days later. They held a private funeral for me." As they finished speaking, they were quickly fading into dust, and you were too. You weren't ready to say goodbye to them. You came back to the present and looked at your board, and stared at it for a while.


	2. the unknown reality and creature.

As you step back from the board and look at yourself, you're in the same outfit from earlier, your light creme sweater with the moon phases imprinted on it, your woven black cardigan, and your matte black pants with some Doc Martens. You tucked your creme sweater and heard footsteps. You heard a knock outside of your bedroom and looked behind you. It was Luna, looking stunning, more than ever. "You alright? You busted the door earlier because you found something." She spoke, in her angelic voice. "I'm alright, I just had another nightmare, they've been messing with my head a lot these few days." You spoke. She held your hand and her soft hands rested with yours. Both of you looked at each other with a smile on each other's faces. Both of you had a moment of silence. “It’s beautiful, the rain isn’t it?” She spoke. She looked at the brown stained and semi-broken window. The rain is still falling at a slow velocity. “Are Harry and Cedric still visiting for tea tonight?” Luna spoke. You nodded after she spoke. “They should come in an hour or two, I must say.” As you finished speaking, you got a ring from the telephone you owned. You ran quickly to the living room. The creeping oak wood is so close to breaking and the exterior vines are ready to grip and protect the cottage all together. You got to the living room and looked at the crimson red telephone. You picked it up and heard Cedric on the other line. “Y/N? You there?” He spoke. You almost panicked. You coughed quickly and responded. "Yea, I'm here. Sorry- My mind just blanked out for a bit." After you spoke, the lights started flickering in your room, curious about what's going on. "Listen, I'll owl you quickly, power's going in and out as of right now isn't at it's best." After you finished speaking, the whole power line cut out.

You went to the kitchen quickly and found a candle. You pulled out you're lighter and flickered it to turn it on. You put the lighter close to the stick of wax. The wax is slowly burning and dripping down to the plate. One of the wax drops got to your skin and absorbed quickly. You peeled the wax off and found yourself and a mirror. Nobody's around you, just a black area and a held up the mirror. As you looked in the mirror, you saw a monster, a vicious despised prejudiced creature was lurking on the other side of the mirror. It looked at you, with its glowing red eyes. The fluorescent bright red glow started dripping off. It started running close to you. You had nothing with you, just your conciseness and the mirror. As you felt weeping noises surrounding you, you saw that the creature was no longer at the other side of mirror but just you. Alone, you sat down quickly. There, it's just you and the mirror. You lifted your hand and put it near the mirror. The cold and gross surface was no longer there, but your hand got to the other reality. 


End file.
